Double Skulls
My Poems


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My shitty-ass Poems

can you hear this silence?
does it break your heart?
savage knives twist angles
it makes my mind wake
hollow me,
the road to heaven is coated with misery
hollow me,
do you beleive that heaven is twisting stormy eyes?
i can feel me dripping away
down to cloudy violence
dusty palms streched to the sky
i would eat my silence
hollow me
fucking cynincs
break peices up off me
hollow me
starry columns
lumber ages away again.

can you see my pain?
can you hear my anguish?
do you really want to be me?
the scars
it releases stress
what wonderful pain
i watch it
as i slice my arm
and it drips down my shoulder
a stream of red
that flows down my arm
a river that never ends
rolling over my fingertips
and splashing on the ground
to watch in the mirror
the suffering in my eyes
the paleness in my skin
the blood rushed from my face
and im happy
as my mascara runs
and the tears hit the blood
thats when i realize
i am merely
a puddle
of sorrow
and sadness

Silent Bleeding
who are you?
what are these mind games?
sad lyrics in profiles
explain words that cant be said
eyebrows raise when hatred rules
your mind, left in silence
alone and scared you have left me
is this how you stop your pain?
is this how its going to end?
find someone else to mutilate
with your thoughts of depression
you have left me
lets pretend we're still friends
lets pretend this wasnt real
let us bleed in silence
no one will know of our pain
no one will know of our silent bleeding.

broken hearts will never mend
and nothing will make them recover
have you ever been heart broken?
to the point where you hated everyone?
have you ever fallen in love?
just to find out they dont feel the same?
the pain lingers on and on
and no one seems to dare
no one wants to help a reject
no one ever shares
no one pays any mind to the ones
who are different
it hurts that i cant show my tears
in a place where no one cares...

This is what they wanted,
they can never be too rich or too thin,
your blood is running low now,
forever to follow the ones that are wrong
uniqueness is a crime
let it be forever now
forever in hatred
and never a soul to love
leaving me the pain to come
whats to come of tomarrow?
whats to come of us?
is uniqueness really that morbid?
that the ones we love must rot?
i know too much...
all kept inside...
if only they would hear me...
if only they would let me speak...
take the tape off my mouth,
ungag me,
let me say the things i want to say
let me be free of this misery
of this weight on my shoulders
of the hatred this world brings
will you hear me out?
will you let me share my thoughts?
am i really that much of a reject
that you must ignore me?
am i that invisible?
i am hated.
i am not loved.
i have no way of saying
all the things i must say.
please ungag me and free me of my pain...

Amanda Spicer
she looks to the heavens
and yells to a god that doesnt exist
she screams at her walls
hoping for an answer
her heart is jagged and broken
and her arms are crusted over with blood
the scars on her face
from pain she thought shed never know
if only she could stop herself from all this
if only she knew how
she hopes for a way out
her fingernails scratch at her face
her arms and her legs
gouging out the very beauty of her own
she knows not how to love
only to hate
and she knows not how to stop
the blood just keeps comming
the pain is addicting
as it seems
shes not trying to die
but meerly trying to live
if only she knew how to stop herself
her pain is like heroin
so addicting she cant stop
shes not tryin to kill herself
but meerly tryin to love herself
crusted blood is on the floor
and shes tryin to find a way
to ease the pain of yesterday

Thoughts of a Cutter 
come inside
they whisper to me
they want to share
the pain they went thru
follow us
they coax on
i sit there and stare
knowing i'll choose wrong
leave me alone
i try to say
but my throat is to dry
scared of whats to come
i run
but i dont move
my mind is racing as they chase me
stummbling around i think
think of my past life
depression runs over me
and i fall
fall victim to thier torture
pain runs thru my body
and i suffer
but i like it
i like and wish i hadnt run
the pain is too much
but the pain is what i want
i pick up the knife agian
do it
they whisper
i dont want to do it myself
so they do it for me
they move my hand for me
talk for me
think for me
im mearly a puppet
of thier own desires
their own torment
and im loving every bit
they move my hand to my arm
and press the cold steel to my skin
i get shivers of excitement
as its blood-stained body moves
moves over my shoulder
the pain is immense
i smile
and watch the blood fall over my arm
over the scars of previous cuts
i count the scars
as the blood cleanses them
my blood is my fountain
my fountain of cleaning
and my knife
my knife is my jesus
the blood must fall
the knife must be stained
never to be cleaned
that would be a sin
the blood must fall

I hide it well you see
I hide this shit cuz it's misery
People don't need to see this side of me
Cuz it brings too much greif to flee
They don't need to see the bottomless pits
That are my eyes
They think they're so wise,
Yet they don't see this pain
That i have to deal with every fucking day
I hate the way they say
'I love you and I hope you stay'
I just smile and nod
Knowing I'm a frod
I don't know why they're so willing
To trust my lies
But don't look into my eyes
And see the pits of blackness
That I know they'll never miss
It kills me to know,
That I'll never glow
In the darkness
When I come to rest
In the grave I know I'll die
And no one will cry
For an unwanted black sheep
Of the family vibe
This is my Suicide

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